A Dog's Journal vs. A Cat's Journal

This had me laughing so much. It's so true and I don't even own a cat. Someone get me a Scottish Fold! However, I think I could settle for a Corgi.

Entries in a dog's journal:
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1:00 PM - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
1:30 PM - ooooooo. bath. bummer.
4:00 PM - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!

Entries in a cat's journal:
DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.

DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this on their bed.

DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan.

DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time, however, it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid? My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.

DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait; it is only a matter of time......

I've Discovered Something Amazing!

Paranormal Activity: A Short Review

I had the privilege to check out Paranormal Activity the other day. I will admit right off the rip that I was expecting it to be just another hyped up horror movie that a few guys got together and pushed onto the Indie film scene. Based on the trailer I was expecting shaky "first person" camera views, and forced "everyday talking" dialog, I just knew it was going to annoy me. With all of the hype on every social media website I assumed that I would be greatly disappointed. The movie is about the haunting experienced by a couple living in a home in what appears to be California. With the purchase of a video camera we get to watch as their entire story unfolds. The movie takes us on a ride that seems to be genuine; girl has haunted past, boy wants to help, both want answers so they try and find them.

Everyone told me before I saw it that is was nothing more than a washed up "Blair Witch" attempt. I figured that it would be over dramatized and I was expecting the Hollywood CG crap to eventually stream across the screen and ruin it for me. I figured that if so many people were saying it sucked then I'm sure that the climax would be something right out of some flashy and overcooked movie where a demon jumps out of a wall with the fires of hell streaming behind him. I was greatly impressed when this never happened.

The reason people hate this movie is because they don't understand this movie. We are so programmed to expect some flashy Terminator style ending that we are angry when we don't get it, even if we hate it! This movie depicts the events of what a haunting IS and WOULD BE if something that horrible were to ever enter someones life. Hauntings are not a joke where you say a few Hail Mary's and draw a cross. A haunting (based on my research) is something that no one is prepared for and in my opinion this movie illustrates that perfectly. If your buddy told you this story verbatim without the presence of a feature film, you would be shocked and immediately begin your own investigation.

Sure the film has it's cheesy moments and I'm sure some of you can predict the outcome but what makes this movie great are the moments it leaves up to your own interpretation. It lets you decide things for yourself. Once you get past the main guy character and wanting to smash his face in, you will enjoy it if you can look past it. Understand this is something that could EASILY be real. So in closing, don't hate. Try and enjoy and leave the shitty Industrial Light and Magic demons to Clive Barker.

Dead Fly Art

Stumbled upon this and thought it was really cool, albeit weird. Someone (missing original author) decided to collect the bodies of dead house flies and give them legs, literally. Some of these are pretty funny and creative. It goes to show you that nearly anything can be art.

Hidden camera show goes very wrong in Charleroi, Belgium!

A Map of McDonald's Across the USA

South Park: The Movie, Original Memo

Keeping Things in Perspective: The Size of Earth

Stumbled onto these while I was talking about the size of our solar system. My mind is always blown when I realize just how small we are in the grand scheme of things. Just think about it when you feel like you are faced with some insurmountable situation. It's an eye opener. The pictures really speak for themselves.

And just so we are all sure... the sun Antares is seriously something from comic books. Mars can orbit inside it. If you stuck it in the center of our solar system it would reach Jupiter! For lack of a better word... awesome.

Slackerstyle Lite goes live on Posterous

I spent the last few days working on getting a live version of the Posterous theme up. It is my pleasure to present the official Slackerstyle Posterous theme "Slackerstyle Lite". It is a port of the original Slackerstyle.com theme which I have been using since before you were born. Seriously though while it is up and running here there are still a few bugs I need to work out and then I will release it for download. I would like to thank my brother (http://randyicj.posterous.com) for some last minute CSS fixes and his sharp eye.

I am pretty excited to finish it, please leave feedback if you are interested in the release and what if anything you would like to see included in the theme. Remember Posterous does not yet let javascript to be embedded so I can't do much for things like including Twitter or Facebook widgets. I would like to work on a way for the user to upload their own top art however it seems like Posterous resizes this uploaded image to a width of 500px which is insufficient. I will see what can be done. Details will be posted here!

Either way I hope you enjoy it! Check back soon.

Cats can't live on lasagna!